dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
