ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
