I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
