Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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