Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize