ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
