Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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