I am full of burrito and curiosity
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
