I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is wine microwaveable?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
