Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
