I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
