Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
