soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
