Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
