Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize