he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Randomize
