There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
