there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
