Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize