You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
