The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
