btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
