ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
