it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
