About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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