The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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