none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
