she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
