Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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