Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
