Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
