I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
