I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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