Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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