you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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