we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
