Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize