Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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