Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
