So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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