Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
