I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize