I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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