I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
