I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
