Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
