I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
