The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
