i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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