$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
