is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
