so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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