This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
