THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
