Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
