I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
