I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
