Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
