the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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