2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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