He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
