Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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