Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
