What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
